Our local Chipotle is running a gimmick where you got a free burrito if you dressed up as said burrito for Halloween. If you are unfamiliar with Chipotle or its wacky step brother Qdoba, they are both restaurants which masquerade as Mexican. I know its hard to believe they aren’t completely authentic Mexican, what with the tacos, and the dark red color pallet that makes the cactus in the corner seem less out of place.
I once saw an actual Mexican working at Chipotle and was tempted to ask if he was trying to inspire someone to write Mexico’s version of Uncle Tom’s Cabin. Of course, when I say that he was “Mexican,” I mean that his family originated somewhere between the U.S.-Mexico border and the Southern most tip of South America. Possibly from certain parts of Asia. He could have been Mongolian or something. There’s no way to know.
The rules for this burrito give away were stated simply, but left many questions unanswered. Exactly how accurate a depiction of a burrito do you have to turn yourself into to warrant free food? They can’t exactly be sticklers on the costume requirements. Surely if I approach the counter wrapped in a blanket and a sign that states “I’m a burrito,” they would be obligated to give me a greasy, delicious burrito immediately, right?
It’s not like they gave any actual criteria. There aren’t panels that appoint burrito costume judges. It would be absurd, not to mention a logistical nightmare.
Forget the blanket. Next time they run this promotion I’m going for my burrito in jeans and a t-shirt and holding my hands in the air as I walk in as if to say “here I am!” When they inquire as to why I am raising my hands in the aforementioned fashion I will look at them slightly confused. “Um…I’m a burrito. Hello!” Would they dare question a sincere effort to pass off your street clothes as a burrito costume? I can’t honestly say that I think they would.
They clearly didn’t think through this promotion very well.